Maria & Lynda
Lynda: “I don't hardly go out. So, since March I think I've been out maybe five times. So how it's changed is I have groceries delivered. I don't go shopping so I shop on the internet and have things delivered, so everything for me has been on the internet. I don't go to my church anymore, I do online church. So, that's been a struggle for me. With an autoimmune disease, I have to be really careful who I'm around, and there's only a subset of people outside of the house that I'm even comfortable being around, because I know how clean they are. It sounds awful, but you know some people don't take care of their hygiene the way that they should. With an autoimmune disease, I don't really believe in the whole “herd immunity” thing that they talk about. That's okay for normal people who don't have issues -- low immune systems and that kind of thing -- but herd immunity is just not something I can trust. And I think my family has become a little bit more protective over who they're around, even. I know for Maria it's been difficult working in the retail industry, being considered essential.”
Maria: “Yeah, because I'm always afraid that I'm gonna bring it home, and then it'll affect [my mom] or my brother, because he's diabetic. And so his immune system is messed up too. So whenever I get home I take all the precautions that they have suggested, just to make sure. But I mean, besides that my life hasn't really changed, because I'm an introvert so I don't really go anywhere anyways. And if I do it's outdoors and I'm not really too worried about it. I just go hiking, so it hasn't really changed that much, just that aspect of working in a place that everybody is going to is scary.”
Lynda: “But, on the flip side of that, it's made us closer. It's made us a bit more thoughtful about how we approach life outside of our home and how we try to make things at home a bit less stressful, and we've been able to get rid of a lot of activity that we used to do that had us constantly on the go. We spend more time with each other actually face-to-face talking. And less on a phone or TV. So that's been different.”
Maria: “We started doing a sibling Dungeons & Dragons game!”
L: “My oldest two, we have a card night, where we play cards once a week. It's an ongoing card game, so each week we tally up. There's a nightly winner on Fridays, and then it also carries over to the next game, so at the end of the year when all this is over, we're going to tally it up and see who has the highest points, and they get a free steak dinner of their choice. So it's kind of been fun.
L: “I used to play cards with my mom and dad all the time. And then when my dad passed, we stopped playing cards. My mom's still alive, and so I have to consider her too whenever we do anything. And then I have a brother that has Down Syndrome, along with some other diseases. So everything that we do has to be thought through for his safety, for my mom's safety. She's 73 and, you know, her immune system is not very good. She has slight COPD. So it's been a challenge, but through like the card game night we've tried to make things fun, a bit more interesting. And then I have my granddaughter, that [my son] has shared custody of, so she's here every other week. So, there's also her family to consider when she comes here from her mother's. They have a child that has some autoimmune issues, so things are just... It's like, both families take extreme precaution to make sure we're not infecting each other with something.
L: “I had a skincare business for about seven years. And last year after my father passed, I decided to close the business down. I thought it was going to be because I would have to put more energy into helping my mom and my brother. So, little did I know that COVID was coming. So actually, I think it was divine that I ended up closing that down and just going back to my art. While I don't hardly sell anything right now, last year I sold quite a bit of my art. This year I haven't really spent much time on promoting it, as I’ve just been enjoying the creation process. It's been an escape. in some ways, it's a release. Because my creative process really stems more from what I see, and how that makes me feel. And so some things have been, you know, oh, like cupcakes and rainbows and that kind of stuff, and then there's other stuff that is a bit too dark to share. So that hardly gets any airtime. But it's kind of forced me to try to share that creative process with others and how I go through it. So I ended up starting a YouTube channel, as a way to share the process, the kind of behind-the-scenes type stuff, as well as doing a TikTok. Oh gosh, I'm 50 years old and doing TikTok. My granddaughter just thinks it's amazing that her grandmother's on Tik Tok, but it's just been about finding ways to share the process more so than the actual end result. Just letting people know that "Hey, you can do this too. It's a healthy and good release." And just trying to inspire others that the end result is not the game. It's the process of just going through the emotion and the feelings and what you see in your head, and being willing to listen to what's in your heart. Sometimes people have difficulty with opening up for that. I find my art allows me to just kind of listen to what's happening in my heart, and then I put that down on paper. Sometimes through just dumping ink or paint, sometimes it's actually painting a pretty scene (or ugly scene for that matter), but it's just a matter of getting it out. It's a big release, and I feel like it's kind of helped me through a lot of this isolation.
L: “Before, I was home all day by myself with hardly anybody here, because everybody's at work. And now I've got my husband, who is working from home a few days a week. And then my son and my daughter-in-law, they live here -- they have a studio apartment in our home. And she works from home, he works from home. So there's more people here now during the day than there used to be. Even Maria's schedule has changed, where she's working more evenings, so she's home during the day. So the last couple of months, the creative process has kind of changed a little because there's so many people around. There's more noise, more people to talk to, more distractions, where before it would be quiet and I would just focus. Now it's a little bit more difficult to focus. But, you know, when you have a large family like we do, that's okay.
L: “And I found my daughter's been inspired to pick up a paintbrush here and there and let that creative process out, and then my oldest son has also started doing the same. Because before, we didn't really have the time for that stuff. Their focuses were outside of the home. I think in some ways this isolation has been good, and in some ways it's been bad. You know, I think the bad part of things for me has been the loss of actual face-to-face conversations with people that have been a part of my life for many, many years. And now I might get that one phone call a week and have a five-minute conversation with people, just checking in and making sure everybody's still alive and okay. You can't get depressed around here too often, there's too many people. Maria might disagree with that. I know she gets melancholy, but I know I don't have the option. I don't want the chance to allow that to come. There's just too much to do.”
M: “Oh, I’ve had major anxiety. It's mostly stemming from knowing that I could bring it home. And it just gives me so much anxiety. It's like I don't even want to go. I work in a grocery store, so it's like I encounter everybody and their mother, because nobody wants to go anywhere except the grocery store. So it's like, I've had customers say that they've either had it or still have it and they're getting over it, and I'm like, why are you even here? It gives me so much anxiety, and that goes into my depression. I have chronic depression, what are you gonna do about it, you know. But it has gotten worse and it's been harder to deal with it. But, I mean, it's not as bad as it could be. You know, it just is something that I have to work through.”
L: “We've had a lot of projects around the house. We had a major studio build out of our two car garage. And that went into the COVID time. We put in a new eight-foot privacy fence and because of COVID, we decided to do it ourselves because we really couldn't get people to come out. That was a major project. And then, because we knew we were doing this, last year we had put in a new shed in our backyard that feels like a mini house. So we were constantly going through things in the house that had been pulled from our old garage and getting rid of lots of things. So we've had different projects here and there. We got rid of our old pool, because we extended the fence out, so we knew we were going to be putting in a new pool. So then I ordered a pool online. Oh, big mistake. They told me, "We can't deliver because we don't have your pool in stock" -- apparently when the shutdown took place, pool manufacturing was not considered essential. They really did not realize that by forcing people to be at home, that it was going to create revenue for places like pool companies, RV manufacturers, camping gear. Those have become really hot items this season because people can't travel the way that they used to, like get on an airplane and go to the beach. People are looking at options to either vacation at home, like we did by getting this massive pool that we ended up putting in our backyard. That was another project -- to level the entire backyard to be able to put this big above-ground pool in. So that's been something that has taken a lot of our time, and now we're starting to focus on the inside because, you know, we have one last outdoor project. If the weather cooperates, we'll be putting a deck in for this big above-ground pool. And then we're focusing on the inside. So the longer this goes, I'll end up with a brand new house by the time we're done. We just keep finding things to occupy our hands, and occupy our heads, that kind of offer distraction.
L: “For me, my beliefs are a big part of why I don't stress as much. It's where I find my hope, in believing that you know this too shall pass. At some point, we'll either learn to live with it, or it will simply go away. And I honestly believe we're just gonna have to learn to live with it. That's going to look different for a lot of different people. I know our church pastor was discussing it last night during our online prayer meeting, saying that only about half the church has come back to the church, because most of us are either elderly, have autoimmune issues, or are just being extremely cautious because maybe we have elderly parents or children that have autoimmune issues or whatnot. So only half of a small church like ours is about 400 strong. That's a considerable number of people, and you have to wonder what that looks like for other places. With having church online, it's really important to me to have a real strong internet signal. So much so that we upgraded our signal so that I wouldn't have these issues, so I could be online for church on my TV and, you know, not have to worry about not being able to have church. It's the only way I can maintain a connection with the community is through that worship time and teaching. So, that brings me comfort. It gives a sense that I'm not the only one in this situation, that there are others that I know that are also struggling or have had difficulties from time to time.”
M: “Mostly just like she said, I’ve been using projects to keep me going. I’m going to be starting a van build, so I'm going to be converting a van into a little tiny home. I'm a travel bug, I love traveling, and that isn't able to happen now. Or at least not in a way that most people have done in the past. So I wanted to do a van build so that I could still go and see places but also still stay away from people and do it safely. I wanted to do it for years now, so now I'm just like, I have all this time to be able to do it. So why not do it now? It's kind of been a nice little gift, is that extra time. Yeah, I have been very spacey lately, and it's just like my mind just keeps going like, okay, let's think about this, this, this, this, so I haven't been able to focus. I've picked up watercolors. That's something I've been able to focus on. And it's helped my anxiety a little bit, just being able to put energy into something.”
L: “I listen to a number of different people in the community -- from pastors to politicians to just your average Joe next door -- and the big consensus is that this is not going away. And so one of the things that I have really had to think through is, how is that going to look for me when this is still here at the end of the year? Will I be going into 2021 still staying at home? Or am I going to have to come up with ways that safeguard me but still allow me to get out there, become part of the community in a physical way? So, I'm not sure how it's going to look, to be honest. We've had so many things that are taking place with the COVID, and protesting, and just all of that on top of an election year, it just... everything kind of looks a little bleak and scary when you think of all that’s happening. You kind of get so tunnel visioned on it that you start to think, you know, is this the end of the world? You know, are we going to just implode? You hear people talking about, you know, these “end times” or that kind of stuff. I think there's definitely going to be some things that happen this year as a result of all the COVID and all of that. It's hurt us economically, with all the people who have become unemployed, the students who have not been able to go back to college, or the online schooling that everybody's having to go through here at the start of the school year. There's just a lot, and it's a bit overwhelming. So, for me personally I've just tried to take it a day at a time, and not focus so much on the future. Because it can be overwhelming to think of all the different scenarios. It can just be too much. I end up suffering some anxiety from it and so I just, I tell myself every day, today's a new day. See how it goes. Let's just focus on today, tomorrow will happen regardless. Let's just be present today.”
M: “I'll watch TV shows, and none of them will be wearing masks, right, and I'm just like, "Oh yeah, this isn't your reality, it's mine." Masks and stuff, I think that's gonna stick with people for a very long time. And like in America, how it's just not getting better. Like, how long are we going to deal with this? At least in America, nobody really knows how long we're going to be with COVID. It's scary. I don't know where life's gonna be, but I just hope for the best and, like, hope everyone really tries to take the most precautions that they can. I don't know. I think about it a lot, I think about the future a lot. And I question everything now.”
L: “And with some of her questions she's ended up making me question things. You know, we're talking about different generations here. It's caused me to rethink some things or to question how I view things. And in some cases I gain a new perspective. I don't know if I've done the same for her, but she's certainly done that for me. I know some of her anxiety stems from if she gets it and brings it home, what happens? And I know she was worried because I think somebody said to her, 'What are you trying to do, kill your mother?" It's very insensitive of them to say that, and that just made her anxiety just go crazy. And it's like you know what, she's not responsible for my health or my well being. She's responsible to take care of herself. And if I contract it, that's not her fault. It's not her fault. It's the people who chose to spit in her face or cough in her face like they had done.”
M: “So yeah, I've had to deal with that. So I work at the Starbucks, but I also work at the cashier [at Target], but somebody right before I had come into work had come up to the Starbucks. He was drunk and stuff, and he was mad that people were wearing masks, so he started coughing and spitting all over the Starbucks. And then he went over to customer service and did it over there. And then he came back to Starbucks and did it again while they were trying to clean up after he had just done it. It was at the very beginning, where people really weren't sure if we could call the police about that sort of thing because it wasn't a known thing like, “Yes that is something that they can get arrested for.” But now, like, nobody else has done that, but it's just not cool.”
L: “It's, it's spiked her anxiety and her fear that she would bring it home to me or to her grandmother, and like, it's not her responsibility. It's everyone's responsibility to safeguard each other. And I think too many people feel like their rights are being infringed upon because they have to wear a mask, but like it doesn't cost you anything! It's kind of like a smile, a smile doesn't cost you anything -- costs you nothing -- but you can absolutely change someone's world by giving it. Well it's the same way with the mask, you can change somebody's world by simply wearing a mask when you go out. If you're going to be in close contact, wear masks in the building. It's not that big of a sacrifice. For me, the Word tells me that what I'm willing to sacrifice for my brother shows what kind of love I have for him. And if I'm willing to sacrifice the fact that I have to wear a mask to protect someone else, that's fine by me. But to me that also says I have great love for my brother, my sister, and my brother's sister. Whether I'm seeing you or Maria, or my neighbor or the guy coming into the general store, you know, it is by wearing that mask that I'm showing love and respect. Honoring other people by wearing that mask. If you don't want to wear a mask because it affects your first amendment rights or whatever, then, we’ve got bigger issues, I'm afraid to say. Like, you can still talk with that mask on. You know, you could still carry your gun with that mask on.”
M: “That's another thing! I went into Which Which, I had ordered food. I went in and I said I had an order for pickup. And he was like, "I don't have any orders for pickup" so he was asking me questions and I was trying to answer them. And he said, "I can't understand you with that mask on, take it off." I was like, excuse me? But he was a big man and I was scared, so I backed away and pulled it down.”
L: “And he didn't have a mask on!”
M: “No, he wasn't wearing one. I was like, “Should I even eat this?” Like, what if he has COVID. He just made my sandwich. I had people coming into work with their masks on their chins, and I would ask them to pull it up. And then I was told by my manager that we can't even say anything anymore. Like, we're not allowed to say anything to people. I had a customer come in without a mask, and I told them we require masks in our store, and they were like, “Oh, I left it in my car" so I asked them politely to please go get it and then they could come back in the store, because I didn't feel comfortable being around them, you know? And she just kept on arguing with me, so I called the manager and he helped her order. But it's just like, it's annoying, just wear the mask. Wear it, so that I don't feel anxious!”
L: “Yeah, it's just something about our culture, I don't know, Americans. I don't know what it is, in other places that they wear masks all the time. This was not even an issue for most other countries, even. Wear a mask, sure! A lot of places didn't have to even be told, they were doing it already. So it's like why is it such a big deal for Americans to wear a mask? I mean, it makes no sense to me.”
M: “And it's not even just with COVID. It's even with protests and stuff. Like, I didn't realize how many people were like, "All lives matter," and duh, but like, you've got to think about other people and how their lives go. Like, there are people who have autoimmune diseases and are really struggling during COVID, and there's people who are getting murdered on the streets like it's nothing.”
Quotes edited for clarity.
Lynda’s health has been the primary factor guiding the Krupas’ response to the coronavirus pandemic. Sue Traver has had similar priorities — see her page for how she’s relearned to teach virtually as a high-risk person.
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