Tulsi
“For me, what had really changed was -- I mean, I was going to work, I was staying after school until six or seven o'clock (whether it's for JWAC [Junior World Affairs Council] or the ambassadors program) and just really interacting and being super involved in community work. And then drastically, over the course of like three or four days, everything went down. There was so much uncertainty. And obviously, given that it was Spring Break for us when everything had to transition, it was really hard to be back in that mental state for a long time when transitioning to online school. And so day to day, for me, the biggest things that I saw change were: how was I going to communicate in a way online that was effective enough? Because I mean, every year in school, I would talk to people and I would talk to teachers. If I needed help with JWAC, I could walk and ask one of my teachers like, "Hey can I go to Coach K's room real quick?" or if I needed to talk about the ambassador program to some teacher and ask for an opinion, I could go whenever I wanted to. And even for Class Council. I mean, the Class Council aspect didn't really change, because going online forces me to be good with social media, so there's a positive that happened with corona. But just having to change how I communicate day-by-day and making sure I'm getting stuff done was generally the hardest thing, and it was the biggest thing I had to change on a day-to-day basis.
“That looks different now because back in school, let's say for instance JWAC, I was the director of current events. You know, before I would be able to see Devashree in Spanish or I would be able to go and see Mrs. Wilson every day, always for a class period. And I was able to talk to them about different things. And I saw Smiriti every day after school when we were about to leave. So just seeing those dynamics really having to change, it was really bad for at least the first month because everyone was really confused, and everyone was still in this Spring Break mindset. I mean, people were staying up until, like, three o'clock in the morning and not waking up until noon. And it was just hard because there was also such a lack of like, “What's gonna happen next?” that it took a while for people to get back on track. And it took a while for those connections to happen again. But once they did, I mean, it just looked different. It mirrors what would have happened if you were in physical school or in physical contact with one another, but just getting there has taken forever because so much is at stake around us.
“For JWAC we actually had a conversation with our assistant principal, Dr. Bonsu, and school resource officer Axton about the importance of racial equity, and we just heard a conversation from both of those men. You know, honestly, Dr. Bonsu… he hasn't been at Trinity for as long as Officer Axton. On top of just being the only person of color in the administration, he's also one of the youngest ones there. So, you know, that’s significant. And then Officer Axton has been a police officer at Trinity for over a decade. You know, we had Zoom calls and Zoom meetings. And I was already very good with email, but I had to get better with email, making sure that they were all online. Making a JWAC flyer -- it used to be… before, I mean, it was pulling it up on Photoshop, and having Mrs Wilson and Smiriti sitting right next to me being able to tell me what to change. And now it's like 20,000 emails.
“So it's those types of dynamics, but then when we’re planning events, there is a lot of uncertainty about the dates. Especially now that we aren't allowed to have elections until halfway through September, we're in kind of an awkward space where we have officers who are in important positions, but we also have necessary supporting positions that aren't built yet, and we don't know how we want to build them yet. So we're still planning, but it's definitely been weird. Especially with a lot of uncertainty about how school's going to be planned and things like that. You just don't... we’re planning stuff and hoping for the best. We had to move that conversation from the first week of July up until just a few days ago [at the end of July]. So you know, we’ve just got to move around.
“I think [the JWAC event] did turn out in a way that was very necessary to begin that conversation. I think officer Axton had a really good point -- and Dr Bonsu did as well -- about how you can't just listen to one viewpoint or another, because otherwise you're never going to be on the middle ground which is necessary to get this conversation going. And so I think from the conversation... we had two sessions, and the beginning session was definitely a lot more awkward, as we were trying to figure out like the tone of the conversation. But by the second session later on in the evening, we were able to really talk about holding people accountable, holding each other accountable, and just diving in deeper. And I think speaking with Officer Axton and hearing him speak about the different experiences he's had at Trinity -- obviously, he's a police officer, so to speak on, you know, how he's dealt with everything that's been going on -- but also hearing from Dr. Bonsu who's in administration and making a lot of the changes (and he has the significance or the influence to make meaningful change) It was valuable hearing about how both gentlemen would want to continue the conversation with the student body. I think that was something I wasn't expecting coming out of it. But I wish there was a lot more said about ways to hold people accountable. But again, being in a school setting and still being so uncertain about the definition of accountability in that sphere... We still haven't been able to figure it out. But I think overall, it was a good meeting. There were a lot of things I wish we would've addressed. But there was a lot of things that I didn't realize we would've gone into. I think it's a good first step.
“We had a call to action at the end of both sessions for people to, you know, start looking at your own self, “at the man in the mirror,” as Dr. Bonsu said, referring to the Michael Jackson song. To start with that change -- the person in front of you, the people around you, those who you hold dearest to your hearts. But I think the next conversation needs to be the fact that although it was a JWAC event and we did gear it only towards Trinity students, only about a collective 30 or 40 students showed up. And when we did anonymous polling afterwards with our student body, a lot of them were just really nervous to come forward, and they were afraid of accountability and accidentally saying the wrong things. I think the next step would be to have this on a bigger scale and maybe with a lot more anonymity, maybe as a webinar-type feature through Zoom where you don't necessarily know who the participants are. That way, the students feel like they have a safer space to begin that process and hopefully be able to come to another one of these types of conversations where they can actually comment and discuss how they feel. That was the biggest barrier, I think. So that would be the next step is expanding it. And again, there's a drastic difference for the rest of the district, so just trying to figure out how to be expanding out as well.
“I think Trinity definitely has a leg up considering, you know, the diversity and how our student body looks a lot different than the average high school student body, you know, being a minority-majority district. I think at Trinity, there is that culture at the end of the day where students do feel welcome that they can speak, but there's a lot of underlying culture and a lot of microaggressions that end up happening. So even if it's not direct racism, it's racist stereotypes. If it's not open homophobia, it's intentionally not being educated about it. And I think that's the first step that we need to do as Trinity students, is to be able to use our significant platform and our significant position of already being so diverse. We need to really address those problems at hand, because at the end of the day, no matter how perfect the school is, there's always going to be a student that feels disenfranchised from it. And is it does require a lot from the students. I mean, students have to figure out a teacher to trust, a friend to trust. And honestly, why would a student trust a teacher when they've had bad experiences with teachers before? Why would they trust their parents or their friend who they know will rat them out to a coach or to other classmates? So I think definitely we have to work on that, but also being open about that dialogue and continuing to be transparent about Trinity students working to fix that, I think that’s so important.
“And it's so important not to just brush it off and say, "Oh, Trinity is so diverse, you know, we don't have these problems." We do. And we have to be honest about that. Because if we're not honest about those small microaggressions, as I said earlier, or even just the underlying culture of it, we're not going to be able to be leaders in the district or the region or replace that blame without addressing those problems. And I think the first step that we really need to do is having teachers be honest within the dialogues that are happening. We need to have students be able to go to a safe place to share their stories and to share these incidents. They're very small, they're not reported unless it's publicly talked about. And I mean, that’s sort of happening now with the Our Voices campaign that's been going on on Instagram. Obviously, we may not know the true validity of the statements, or it might be one side versus another, but no one I know -- there might be 1% of the people who would -- nobody would make up a racist remark as if it truly hurt them. Or I feel like nobody truly could feel and resonate that pain of being harassed, and I think we need to address these experiences and continue to let students be able to have that space to talk about it.
“We have to be able to promote that environment that we already say we have, to promote the diversity we have not just in skin tone, not just some languages, not just in culture, but in thought as well, because we also have to let, obviously, people who might have more conservative views or more liberal views have their spot at the table. Because you can't have a meaningful conversation without allowing everyone to speak. I want us to come with an open mind. I think that open-mindedness isn't completely there, but we're a lot further along, and I think we have a great responsibility to continue that. Because if we do, I think it's generally a powerful tool that we can all use. And I think a lot of students need that now more than ever. Because by being open-minded at Trinity, and administration listening to their students, and the teachers listening to them as well, it takes off that burden in the years to come of BIPOC people feeling like they need to educate their parents of, you know, “Don't say these words, don't say these types of stereotypes because that's hurtful.”
“Obviously hearing that from another student is impactful and meaningful, but when you don't hear that from an educator, when you don't hear that within the underlying culture at your school, you don't resonate with it. That's only one person in your life. You know, if you're making fun of someone with a hijab, and they tell you that's not okay, well, you already had that sort of indifference to them. So what's going to make that person want to listen? But if a teacher comes and says, "Hey, you can't make fun of that, it's a religious symbol, you're disrespecting her," it might not be impactful at first, but at least hearing that from a figure of authority is important.
“Dr. Bonsu said that when you leave Trinity, if your friend group, or at least the people you talk to, look exactly like you, you haven't fully embraced the diversity. And I think that's where we're at now. I think most students will be open to a few different groups, but I don't think we have that culture where students can embrace it all. And I think we need to get to that type of openness before truly saying, "Trinity High School is this, Trinity High School is that." Because yeah, you can look at statistics, but statistics don't talk about narratives.
“To preface [my thoughts on online learning], I have, obviously, the opportunity of being a Student Ambassador, so I've actually been able to talk directly to our Superintendent and our School Board and hear their thoughts about this as well. And I think Mr. Chapman had said that, you know, in the spring there was so much uncertainty. There was such a lack of leadership from everywhere, and nobody knew what was going on. You know, even teachers were scared out of their minds about what's going on. And some of our students, yeah, we were joking about "Oh, two more weeks of Spring Break! Yeah!" But like, at the end of the day, we all knew that we had to go back to school at some point. Like, how are we going to do that? And so I think online learning in the spring was truly a disaster. Just because a lot of teachers didn't know how to use technology. And the teachers that were tech savvy were busy trying to help their coworkers figure it out. And like, what's gonna happen with testing? I mean, IB and AP students were worried out of their minds. Let's even go down to on-level students who are in athletics, or have jobs, you know, or even just stay at home -- how are they going to deal with their day-to-day life? So I think online learning in the spring generally was not up to par with what it hypothetically should have been. But realistically, I think it was the best that we could do. But I think going into this next school year, and having all these months of going through pass/fail grading or this or that, I think now we're a lot more equipped to do online learning.
“But we also have to understand that online learning isn't the same for everyone. Just because we're all sitting on a computer doesn't mean you know what's going on behind the door behind me, and I don't know what's going on outside your brain. You don't know what's happening to X, Y, or Z person. I think online learning this next year really needs to be inclusive and aware that things aren't always doable at home. I think school really is the one place that a lot of people need to have the sense of equitable chances, you know, obviously, with different disadvantages that we all have. I think online learning and this next school year really needs to focus on that lens of making sure students are all on the same page, that they're on the same track.
“And just even speaking of my personal experience, and a personal want that I want to see, I want to see standardized testing, that is already just so skewed and already needed some sort of reallocation or reform, to not be in place for this year. I think the number-one priority should be teaching, not trying to do a filler project that'll help you on your grade, in a sense of, "Oh, maybe your final exam has to be this project, we don't know yet, or it’ll be the STAAR test." I think the governor a few weeks ago said that there aren't promotion requirements for the STAAR test. So why are we spending millions of dollars even worrying about STAAR tests this year? Why aren't we spending those millions of dollars on, you know, making sure the students have Wi-Fi, or students have Chromebooks, so students can get tested if they needed to at school, so that there's rapid testing at schools available for the students who want to go back (or need to)?
“So I just think this year online learning just really needs to focus on equitable access for all students. Being aware that not every student, not every teacher, not every administrator is the same, and just trying to work to even out that playing field. And for me, as a senior, applying for college -- I've already taken the SAT once. I had a good score, don't get me wrong, but I'm not just defined by a number. And I already had issues with the SAT. But now I feel so indifferent. And people are telling me "Oh Tulsi, you should take it again. You should take it again." But there's limited spots. I have a majority of my class who hasn't even taken a single SAT yet, and you know, all these colleges are saying, "Oh, if you haven't taken it, that's okay. You know, you won't be disadvantaged from not submitting one." But there's that underlying culture that a number defines you, that a number is your first step. And yes, colleges do holistic scoring, yes there's kids who take the SAT who get into amazing schools with their amazing character. But that's not the reality for everybody, that's not the norm. And I think we really need to focus on that this year. And realizing that we need to really take a good, solid look at public education. We need to take a really good, solid look at how we're teaching our students and what methods we're doing. So that's how I feel all about online learning -- just following that goal of equity.
“In HEB specifically, we're lucky in that we pay pretty high taxes in consideration of other places. Our school district's really well-funded; there’s a fund that they've been creating for years in case something were to happen. I think they approved a few million dollars to make sure that we have a one-to-one to device ratio now in the school district, so if every single student needs an iPad or Chromebook or access to some form of technology, they can get one for themselves by borrowing from the school (which we technically should have done years ago, in my opinion, not just because of COVID, but because if everyone had a Chromebook it would be so valuable). But we've spent that money, we have that money to spend. But that's not the reality for Dallas ISD, Fort Worth ISD, or Arlington ISD, because, you know, we're in a suburban area. In HEB ISD, discussions have been made about even buying hot spots for kids to be able to keep at home to have the internet, putting hot spots in apartment complexes where a good chunk of students go to school. I think the district is making a lot of good steps. And I'm really proud that they are without people needing to say, "Oh, we need this, we need that." We're in this financial situation because the state stakeholders, and the parents, and the students have all made these sacrifices over the last few years. There's a reason why the district was so well-equipped to do it. But we can't ignore the fact that, yeah, we're able to do it now, but we also need to look to our neighbors. You know, I can be a Trinity student today and tomorrow I might have to move down to Martin HS or Colleyville HS. So what would happen to me if I had to move? And that's the same for any student. An HEB ISD student could be living in an apartment right now, but maybe they can't pay their rent and so their parents have moved to Fort Worth ISD in order to pay rent to be able to survive. And now does that student have access to education and to electronics that they had in this district? They may may or may not. So we have to make sure that we're well-equipped and our students are good, but also continuing that conversation and having the district be a supporter for other school districts as well, which I think they've been doing. Steve Chapman has taken a really -- at first, indeed, he didn't take such a big stance -- but I think now, he sent a letter to the governor saying that “We need that funding, you can't take it away, we desperately need it if we decide to go online.” And so I'm proud of him for doing that. And I think we just need to continue being advocates for public education.
“I think that going forward, a lot of people are going to be a lot more honest with themselves and others. I think for education -- it's sad to see it now with adults, with them being so blatantly disrespectful to educators and teachers. At first they were like, "Oh my god, this is so hard, I can't imagine" and they have that respect, but after a while, they’ve all gotten like, "Why is this teacher trying to tell us what to do?" you know, "I want to go back into class," and things like that. So I hope that students in our generation, you know, Gen Z, are able to say, "Wow, those teachers really tried their best. I get they might not have been the best, but at least they tried." And it's so important that we pay our teachers right, and that we make sure they're okay as well.
“Politically, despite whatever side of the aisle a person is on, you know, they want to see leadership. They don't want to see a Republican or a Democrat. They want to see their senator, they want to see their representative, they want to see their Supreme Court Justice fighting for them, not fighting for some sort of agenda or policy. Because I think now more people are realizing, "Oh, we should definitely vote by mail. If we're not even allowed to go to Walmart without a mask on and 20 pounds of hand sanitizer, how are we supposed to go vote?" But again, partisanship. Or, "Yeah, we need to support each other economically during these times." If we're paying thousands of dollars in taxes a year, we should be able to fall back on it whenever we need it. But what's happening again? Partisanship, and I think we're really seeing true leaders on both sides of the aisle, despite whether or not we agree with them morally, ethically, in politics. They're really taking a charge and stance. Also now, a lot of young people are getting into politics or becoming politically aware in America, which I think is so important. And it's a shame that it took a global pandemic to make people be politically aware, but I'm glad that they're at least being aware of things.
“I mean, like, now [with Zoom meetings] you can talk with somebody that's all the way in New York, all the way in India, within seconds. I mean, yeah we had Skype, you know, and all these other different types of online meeting spaces, but I think now it's a lot more common. And I mean, I'm working with Tarrant County on creating a voter registration organization. And even those adults tell me, "Oh, we never spoke to the people in Dallas, because it was a 70 minute drive." But now they're speaking every day on Zoom, you know? Obviously, we're still going to want to have in-person meetings, in person galas, stuff like that, but I think the use of online tools such as Zoom, Google Meet, Google Hangouts, will still be so important. Because it allows for a lot of connectedness and global citizenship for a lot of people.”
Quotes edited for clarity.
In 2020, Tulsi is a graduating senior at Trinity HS. To hear another senior’s perspective on the pandemic, view John’s profile.
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